The Poo Logs: Volume 10

Poo Log #1: Pooped sideways

Nor | New York | June 1, 2023

It all started in the stalls.... The lock was broken... I had 9 cups of oats in combination with this really ghastly laxative. I dashed into a washroom, legs quacking, feet shivering. Little did I know, the lock wasn't working on in the washroom I went into. I had no time to search for another stall with an operational lock – I really had to do my business. Right as my bowels exploded my dad walked in and said "What the Hell?"

Poo Log #2: Pooped incorrectly

V | Massachusetts, USA | June 1, 2023

Ok look. I really don't want to tell this to anyone but I need a place to write it out and I can't believe there's a website for this.

I was at a major retail outlet like Costco (but for legal purposes, it definitely wasn't Costco), and to put this into perspective, I had a really unhealthy amount of candy the previous day. I was crying and ate an enormous amount of gummy bears even though I am diagnosed with "explosive diarrhea cased by consumption of gummy bear syndrome". But you know what? Honestly, I was having a mental breakdown and I could not care to consider my future poo state before I actually went ahead and ate them. Big mistake. HUGE MISTAKE EVEN.

So okay, I see my coworker in one of the aisles. This is a person that like I've always wanted to be close with but I never really had the chance to make my move, y'know? So basically, we were in the aisle with the toilet paper (haha) and I waved to her and she smiled at me. We had a nice conversation about how short the cherry season is in Vietnam. Then I bent down to check the price of something, and oh my god. OH MY GOD. I LITERALLY POOPED MY PANTS. I wore a white thong and white pants that day. So you know ... it was pretty obvious what happened. She tried to ignore me after that, but oh my god, the smell was so bad. She was literally looking at me through her peripheral vision. I wanted to play it off so bad you DO NOT UNDERSTAND. THAT WOMAN AND I WERE THE ONLY PEOPLE IN THAT GOD DAMN AISLE.

Needless to say I quit that job and blocked her on everything. I had to walk out of that store and hide my poo stained bum bum as I left. Got a lot of weird stares that day. I also almost destroyed the seats of my brand new car as I sat down. I still attend therapy daily in an effort to cope with this traumatic experience. 

Poo Log #3: Taking big poo in the school bathroom

Remi Tomhas Grossman | Canada | February 12, 2023

I took a reallyyyy big shit in the school bathroom and it went everywhere. It clogged the toilet and overflowed. Now the bathroom smells of poo and I am suspended! Email me at [REDACTED] if you want to hear more poo stories!