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Poo Log #1: A HOTLINE SUBMISSION!
Poo Log #1: A HOTLINE SUBMISSION!
May 7, 2020
"Oy vey I have matzah balls flying out like cannonballs out of my ass. Can you help me? [painful crying]"
Listen to the audio file here!
* Editor's note: thepoojournal.com has a team of staff with impressive credentials, including the co-chief editor who is a medical doctor. However, the co-chief editor (Dr. Baby) is currently on an undetermined period of leave to pursue the success of thepoojournal.com. Please refer to a proctologist to treat your painful situation.
Poo Log #2: Sideways Portal
Poo Log #2: Sideways Portal
rickY | NordRhein-Westfalen, Germany | September 2019
On my way home, while I was biking home on the way home from work, after work I had to go immediately. There was no bushes or dense forest in sight until I came across an overpass with an abandoned-for-the-day construction site underneath. To my luck, a porta potty was sitting there with the door unlocked. I jumped off my bike and ran in to make myself comfy. Wouldn’t you know it but as soon as i started shitting a large gust of wind (must of been the start of a tornado) came. Blew me, my poo and the entire portable toliet suddenly horizontal, lying sideways on the ground. Must I say...if you ever find youself in this predicament, gravity still works and you can still get your business done. All in a days work eh !
auf deutsch:
Bike auf dem Weg nach Hause...als ich sofort gehen musste. Gibt keine Büsche oder dich Wälder..bis ich einen Überpass mit einer verlassenen Baustelle darunter traf. Zu meinem Glück, war ein umzug-toilette da, mit der Tür offen. Ich sprang von meinem Fahrrad und rannte rein, um mich bequem zu machen. Würdest du es nicht wissen..aber sobald ich anfangen, einen großen Wind zu scheißen (muss der Beginn eines Tornado gewesen sein) kam direkt. Hat mich geplatzt...mein Kacke und das gesamte tragbare Toliet plötzlich horizontal, liegend auf dem Boden. Muss ich sagen... wenn du dich je in dieser Notlage findest, funktioniert die Schwerkraft noch und du kannst deine Geschäfte noch erledigen. Alles in einem Tag eh !
Poo Log #3: Cold and squishy
Poo Log #3: Cold and squishy
Matt | Ontario, Canada | November 2011
My wife and I were driving across Canada from British Colombia. We stopped in Sleeping Giant national park for a little off the beaten path hiking. As we drove up the twisting turning narrow road we found our spot, a little hidden nook still covered in fresh northern snow. We pulled in, parked, and went out into what turned out to be a seldom used cross country ski trail. My wife, the dog, and I were having a wonderful time when, all of a sudden, that cold dark feeling hit me. I was about to have explosive diarrhea. We were hours away from our vehicle and we had no TP. At that point, I dropped my pants and took one step off the trail.
The fluffy non packed snow on the other side enveloped me like a skinny husbands fat wife.
I was stuck. The fall had induced the diarrhea. The fluffy snow compacted and formed a seat under my ass and the diarrhea wasn’t melting it fast enough. I resigned. I let it flow. After that, we made our way back up to the trail. With some struggle, I succeed, covered in diarrhea, half naked and soaking wet we walk back to our van. To our our dismay, the van sunk into the snow ... good thing I packed a shovel. How sorry I was for the two people who stopped to help me push.
* Editor's note: Here at the thepoojournal.com we are passionate about diarrhea. This winning submission had the perfect amount of diarrhea. No more, no less. We hope you shit your pants again for our 2021 contest!
Poo Log #4: Tortilla poop
Poo Log #4: Tortilla poop
Poo Log #5: Too Much Hummus has Consequences
Poo Log #5: Too Much Hummus has Consequences
Hummus Luva | Manitoba, Canada | July 2020
Recently I have gotten into cooking. I found a really good recipe for hummus by this Youtuber named "My Name is Andong". I've been eating this hummus for at least two meals a day. I have also been eating fewer veggies (bad grocery shopping habits). Well, now my poop looks like hummus in colour and texture.
* Editor's note: Sounds sticky. This hummus poop may go well with the tortilla poop noted above.
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